The Rundown (2003)

When The Rundown came out, it looked like it would be a big dumb action movie. Probably fairly fun to watch, since I do enjoy The Rock. He's kind of a guilty pleasure with me. So I decided it wasn't worth going to the theaters for, and figured I'd catch it on DVD. And I basically forgot all about it until the other day, when a coworker was selling off a bunch of her used DVDs and offered me a deal I couldn't pass up. I was right, it pretty much is a big dumb action movie, but thankfully it doesn't try to be much else. We have the Rock as some kind of collections agent working for a man of dubious legal status, collecting on gambling debts and the like. He's insanely strong and tough, even manages to take on a football team's entire offensive line in a bar fight, but he eschews the use of firearms. He's hired to go to South America to do one last big collection so he can finally get out of the business and open a restaurant. He's the sensitive chef type, obviously.

What I really loved about the movie, and what would have sent me at least to the dollar theaters for it, is the main villain is played by none other than Christopher Walken. I'll watch nearly anything with him in it. I have become increasingly convinced over the years that he's not really an actor, and may not even be human. Instead, he is an entity who walks the earth, much like Cane in Kung Fu. He's never really cast in a movie, he just wanders into movie sets. Any director immediately orders filming; it's like getting footage of Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster, except more believable. Walken wanders around the set, doing his thing, then wanders back off, disappearing like a ghost. It's possible that he actually enslaved a South American tribe for The Rundown, we'll never know. Anyway, the basic idea is The Rock has to go to South America and bring back his boss's son. Said son is a wannabe archaeologist who has found the location of some MacGuffin. His girlfriend owns the local bar and runs the local guerrilla resistance in their fight against Christopher Walken's oppression. Walken likes to employ guys with whips as his enforcers. The Rock tries to negotiate with him, then kidnaps the son and takes him into the jungle. Fun with nature and hilarity ensue, with a surprising amount of wirework. I thought it was a lot of fun, albeit pretty mindless entertainment. Really just what I needed while I rested my wrists made sore by Rockband. One item to watch for is a cameo by none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger early on. Were I a real film critic instead of a humble blogger, I'd probably say something about it indicating him passing the action hero torch on to the Rock. At any rate, for being solid action brain candy, I give The Rundown a solid 0.4 Bolls.

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