I have the power now!

Last night, Brianna and I stopped off at the grocery store to get a few necessary provisions.  We were playing around and having a good time, as we always do when we go shopping, when I came upon a shelf that stopped me short.  For a moment, I simply stood there, awestruck.  Then I reached out a trembling hand and lifted a bottle from the display, intent on my discovery. I had, of course, heard of bacon salt before.  But I had assumed it was something I would need to order over the internet.  Never did it occur to me it might show up at my local Buy for Less! "Do you know what this is?!?" I asked my daughter.  She shook her head.  "This is only the most powerful of all condiments!  It is a substance so powerful it can make literally anything taste like BACON!  This is BACON SALT!" My daughter grinned up at me, knowing my religious fervor toward the Candy of Meats.  A woman a little further down the aisle couldn't help but laugh out loud at my exuberance.  But I didn't care.  I had bacon salt, and suddenly all was right with the world.  As you can see from the photo, it is as yet unopened, but I have plans for it, oh yes. Very soon, I will test it out.  I figure home-grown vegetables are clearly the antithesis of the holy bacon, so I am going to use some on one of Nathan's cucumbers.  If it truly tastes of bacon, I will know I have the power to make anything in the world more delicious. In related news, found out that I am finally trendy after all these years.  Bacon is cool, according to Salon Life.  The fondness for bacon (though not necessarily for eating it, if you can believe that) has spread even to vegetarians (also known as herbivorous prey animals).  Everyone loves bacon! In closing, I leave you with this bacon flow chart, because it is both awesome and true.  Click to view the full-size image in all of its glory!