The Boll Scale

Nearly every movie rating site uses some kind of gimick in their rating system. Opposable Thumb Films uses the Hoff-o-Meter, Badmovies.org has slime drops, and  Stomp Tokyo uses lava lamps, to name a few. I'll not be an exception, as I am using The Boll Scale of Movie Suckage. The basic idea is that Uwe Boll is the worst filmmaker of all time, and his worst is as bad as a movie can possibly get. As far as I know, this movie is Alone in the Dark, the only movie I've ever seen that earned a full 1.0 Boll (there is some debate that House of the Dead is even worse, but I've yet to see it). So any movie that sucks at all earns some fraction of a Boll, depending on how close they come to absolute suckage A movie that earns 0.0 Bolls is pretty damned good, and anything coming in with negative Bolls has achieved movie greatness.

Positive Suckage Negative Suckage 0.1 Bolls -0.1 Bolls 0.2 Bolls -0.2 Bolls 0.3 Bolls -0.3 Bolls 0.4 Bolls -0.4 Bolls 0.5 Bolls -0.5 Bolls 0.6 Bolls -0.6 Bolls 0.7 Bolls -0.7 Bolls 0.8 Bolls -0.8 Bolls 0.9 Bolls -0.9 Bolls 1.0 Boll -1.0 Boll Maximum Suckage: No movie can suck more than Uwe's own work -1.0 Boll represents movie quality as high as Boll's is low. Ratings beyond -1.0 are possible for sufficiently great movies

Movies Reviewed (view list by rating) Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007) Rating: 0.10 Bolls Battle Royal 2: Requiem (2003) Rating: 0.80 Bolls Bone Eater (2007) Rating: 0.70 Bolls Caved In: Prehistoric Terror (2006) Rating: 0.90 Bolls Chill (2007) Rating: 0.90 Bolls Confessions of a Superhero (2007) Rating: -0.70 Bolls Crank (2006) Rating: -0.60 Bolls Dinocroc (2004) Rating: 0.60 Bolls Doom (2005) Rating: 0.80 Bolls Dracula 2000 (2000) Rating: -0.10 Bolls Dracula II: Ascension (2003) Rating: 0.70 Bolls Dracula III: Legacy (2005) Rating: 0.60 Bolls El Chupacabra (2003) Rating: 0.90 Bolls Feast (2005) Rating: -0.80 Bolls Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane (2007) Rating: 0.10 Bolls Highlander: The Source (2007) Rating: 0.99 Bolls Komodo vs. Cobra (2005) Rating: 0.80 Bolls Lake Placid 2 (2007) Rating: 0.90 Bolls Legend of the Bog (2009) Rating: 0.90 Bolls Mad Cowgirl (2006) Rating: 0.80 Bolls Man on Wire (2008) Rating: -1.00 Bolls Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009) Rating: -0.80 Bolls   1 of 3 ››

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